“Dicen que la gente que trota por la rambla, llega a un punto en el que entra en una especie de éxtasis donde ya no existe el cansancio y sólo queda el placer.”
-Jose Mujica, president of Uruguay
If you run long enough on the Rambla of Montevideo, according to the president of Uruguay, you’ll reach a point of ecstasy where tiredness leaves you and only pleasure remains. Any similarities of what follows are coincidental and unintended. Around Eduardo Acevedo a thought occurred to me: Can you time a barbecue? The Rambla is marked every 500 meters, so I ventured based on personal experience that the time necessary for a barbecue should be three and a half hours. As the person in charge of the grill, there’s a time during every barbecue when everything runs so smoothly that time stops. The above figure is almost irrelevant considering that walking along the Rambla and barbecuing are so different. But bear with me, I think I’m onto something here.
The Rambla in Meters (m):
4000 m: Make the fire. Use construction scraps before moving onto leña de monte. Pile them up in the middle of the oil barrel.* Start the fire like they taught you at 4H Camp in Riverhead. Skaters love this plaza for its funbox, I love it because it means that I‘m heading home.
3500 m: Notice the American embassy? This part of the Rambla is called Republica de Argentina. Clean the grill with lemon or onion and set meat covered with salt and spices on the grill asap.
3000 m: Pepe Mujica’s claim is that the Rambla is hypnotic. Red granite squares are consumed by a runner’s shoes as his lungs adapt to his or her pace. Fire builds in appetite, but you are a patient man. Let it smoke and listen to the conversation around you.
2500 m: Once there is some charred wood, distribute the coals without the fire dying. This trick is best achieved with practice, like getting the hollow sound from a tambor chico. A drum group is called a “comparsa” and the street that stems off the Rambla here is called “La Cumparsita”. It is the most famous tango ever written, named after a group of friends and composed in the form of a march. The tune was written by a young architecture student who gave it to a senior composer, who in turn gave it to the pianist to tinker with. Apparently orchestration is no simple task. At this point feel the heat of the grill. You are in the driver’s seat.
2000 m: The Rambla was said to open the windows of the city. People at the end of the pier have a front row seat when the river is like a cup of milk. To the right is Rio Negro Street, particular to the music of candombe. Break out the wine, the best is produced as close to the city as possible.
1500 m: Here’s where la Ciudad Vieja can be first appreciated. Good luck with multitasking. If you bought pulpo de vacio, time to cut into it to see if it needs to be laid flat on the grill. You may need to add some more wood, but maybe not. Serve the meat as it comes out. Guests will appreciate eating the meat as soon as it comes off the grill, instead of sitting down at a table each with his own plate. Why sacrifice? Have the pleasure of eating right off the parrilla.
1000 m: Three thousand meters later. El Cubo del Sur at a rare low tide. The viento de locos must have been blowing. This structure is modeled exactly like the colonial fortress. It was destroyed to make the Rambla, and built back up in the same dimensions, only in red granite. The smoldering fire is accompanied with satisfaction. Time to go home and get back to work.
0 km: In conclusion, the time necessary to cook meat should be left to the cook. Autopilot mode will find the runner. The fire will summon your friends!
*Oh yeah, your barbecue is an oil barrel cut in half propped up by steel legs, and the grill refigerator ventilation coils. Don’t be surprised, the first candombe drums were constructed out of old casks made for storing yerba mate.
